Trust and Love

A few days later, on Thursday night after my yoga class I had been too tired to do anything, so we were curled up on my sofa watching a movie. I hadn't paid much attention, mostly because of my thoughts of Tony who had his arms wrapped snugly around me. My head rested on his shoulder, and I was stretched out across the sofa with my hand resting over his. I couldn't stop thinking about how he changed my life.

Is it possible to love someone after less than a month of dating? I mean really love someone; I'm not just talking about attraction, or butterflies in my belly that make me fond of him. I mean needing someone so badly that I won't allow myself to think about what would happen if I were to lose him. Knowing that I want to spend the rest of my life with him by my side rather than face this world alone. Is that possible after just three weeks and six days? Kayla would say yes, because she knew right away with Derek. And now I know what she meant. Because that's what Tony has done, made me discover what it's like to really be in love. It's so strange how life changed and suddenly he's here loving me. I'm amazed that it's happened. When we're apart, I'm able to convince myself that I'm overreacting- yes, I like him…a lot more than I would care to admit to anyone or out loud; but that doesn't mean I have to go rambling on about things I don't understand. But when he's around…when he so much as smiles at me- I feel like I understand love perfectly, and the world suddenly makes sense.

It's much easier to get hurt if you let yourself love like that, I know that. Which is why up till now, I never have. He has made me vulnerable, and I realize that. All it would take would be for him to grab his tooth brush from my sink, pick up his Angel's hat off the dresser and slam the door behind him as he left my apartment, and I know I would be broken in a way that I had never been before. A way that would be irreparable and yet, I can't seem to be wary of him, can't make myself push him away when he comes too close. Which he does; all the time.